Funny Stuff!

At Wild Side Outdoors we like to enjoy what we do.
That means not only doing the things we like doing and going to places we really enjoy but also seeing the funny side of what people say and do, including us!
This page is devoted to quotes and situations that have made us laugh.
We hope you like them too!

Funny Quotes & Conversations.

Returning a call to a mobile I was a little peeved at finding that the phone call went unanswered. A short while later he called back and apologized saying:-
“I am not sure why they call these phones mobile because they really aren’t. I mean when they’re in your pocket or in your car they’re mobile ‘cause they go where you go, but if you put them down on the table or something they just like stay there. They’re not really mobile at all when you think about it!”

Discussing where the Merbein boat ramp was:-
“You know Pump Hill on River Road just before you get to Merbein”
“Well the boat ramp’s at the end of the hill.”
“Which end?”
“Ahhh? At the bottom of the hill!!”

Discussing water safety with Year 3/4 students:-
“What’s the worst thing that can happen to you in water?”
Student 1 “You can drown”
“Yes – That’s correct”
Student 2 “I’ve drowned before”
Student 3 “No you haven’t!”
Student 2 “Yes I have! How would you know anyway?”
Student 3 “Because if you’d drowned you’d be dead”
Student 2 “No I wouldn’t”
Student 3 “Yes you would – That’s what drowning is”
Student 2 “Not if a life saver gets you and that’s what happened to me!”

Discussing student medical problems with school staff before a camp:-
Staff 1 “We have a sleep walker. Not a very bad case, just goes for a wander sometimes”
Staff 2 “We have no problems at our school”
Staff 3 “We have one mild asthmatic but very mild”
Staff 4 “We apparently have a student that suffers from insomnia”
WSO Staff “OK! We’ll get him to look after the sleep walker then!”

WSO Staff conversation both on mobiles:-
WSO 1 “I sent you a message earlier, did you get it?”
WSO 2 “Hang on I’ll just check my phone”
Pause – Looking for phone
WSO 2 “Hang on I can’t seem to find my phone”
WSO 1 “Aren’t you talking on it?”
WSO 2 “Oh yeah! So I am!”

Some students examining a statue of a big bull:-
Student 1 “What are you doing?”
Student 2 “I’m just checking if the bull has testicles”
Student 1 “Why?”
Student 2 “I want to see if it’s a male or a female”

After being contacted early in the morning to buy some milk for use during breakfast at a camp, the WSO staff member doing the shopping asked in response to the request:-
“What kind of milk do you want fresh or hot?”

Two students communicating via UHF radios during a simulated search and rescue activity:-
Searching student “Are there any bushes around you?”
Lost student “Are there any what?”
Searching student “Trees”
Lost student “Trees?”
Searching student “Bushes! Trees! Whatever! Is there heaps of plantation around you?”

During the same exercise but a different group:-
Searching student “We’re gonna blow the whistles OK?”
Lost student “Yeah!”
Loud whistle blowing noise coming through the radio.
Searching student “Did you hear that?”
Lost student “Yes!”
Searching student “OK, we must be close to you then!”

During the same exercise but yet another group:-
Searching student “Can you see any clouds above you?”
Lost student “Yes! Why?”
Searching student “If you describe what they look like we might be able to work out which ones you are under”

And going into the underground river:-
School staff “This morning we will be going into a cave with an underground river.”
Student “A cave! Will it have cave men in it?”

Going up to Mt. Hotham:-
WSO “And over there you can see Mt. Hotham”
Student “Where?”
WSO “Over where those building are”
Student “Buildings!? How come there are building there?”
Other student “Because people live there”
Student “People can’t live there”
Other student “Why not?”
Student “Because it’s a mountain, they’ll fall off!”

A student purchases a jester hat at Mt. Hotham and is proudly wearing it at lunch.
WSO “Nice hat”
Student “Thanks”
WSO “The label on it is quite fitting also” (On the front of the purple, black and green hat it says MENTAL)
Student “Yeah I thought it would be good idea to get one with MT HOTHAM written on it as a souvenir”
WSO “MT HOTHAM? I think you had better read it again!”
Student takes off the hat and reads the front
Student “Oh my god! I’m never wearing it again” As they stuff it into their bag.

Playing the card game cheat:-
Student 1 “I don’t know how to play this game.”
Student 2 “It’s easy all you do is put down cards that follow in order either up or down. So if I put down a 4 you can put down a 3 or 5 and you can have multiples like if you have 2 x 2s, you can put down 2 cards and say they are 2 x 2s”
Student 1 “But what if I don’t have any”
Student 2 “You can put down anything and pretend it’s what you are supposed to put down. That’s why it is called cheat”
Student 1”Oh! I see”
Game continues around and gets to student 1
Student 2 “Come on it’s your turn”
Student 1 “What do I put down again?”
Student 2 “I put down a 5 so you can put down sixes or fours”
Student 1 ‘”But I don’t have any”
Student 2 “Remember that’s when you can cheat”
Student 1 “Oh! Okay then (Putting down 2 cards) two fours”
Student 2 “Cheat!”
Student 1 “Ohhh! How did you know?”

Stopping at Ouyen on a drive to Horsham with students on board.
WSO Staff 1 “I’ve ordered some food so move the car down a bit”
WSO Staff 2 “Okay” (After which the staff member drives the car down to the far end of the car park some 50 metres away)
WSO Staff 1 (Getting into the car) “You didn’t have to move it half way to Horsham”
Student “Are we half way already?”

Standing in knee deep water taking two year 7 boys through a capsize drill.
WSO Staff (After having talked through the procedure with the students) “OK now I’m going to roll the boat over away from the bank, so you will fall to your right”
Student “Hold on. How deep is it here?”
WSO Staff “I think you had better look at me and then have a think about that question”

Taking a group of backpackers canoeing at King’s Billabong we were asked just before we got onto the water. Backpacker (male) “Are there any crocodiles here?”
This question gets asked regularly and not just from backpackers!

After hiring out some canoes to four oversees tourists at King’s Billabong.
Tourist 1 “What sort of animals do you get around here?”
WSO Staff “There are plenty of birds, a few kangaroos, goannas and snakes and a few others.”
Tourist 1 “No I mean real animals.”
Tourist 2 “Yeah, like lions and tigers and animals like that.”
WSO Staff “Ahh…No I’m sorry but we don’t have any of those here – maybe you need a zoo?”

After spending nearly 30 minutes working one on one with a girls paddling a canoe and trying to get her to understand how to use her paddle as a rudder. The WSO staff member was getting frustrated by the fact that when he asked her to push her paddle outwards, she would do it right a couple of times before starting to push it backwards.
WSO Staff “Push your paddle outwards not backwards!!”
Student “I am!”
WSO Staff “No, your pushing backwards again instead of out, remember how I showed you?”
Student “Yeah. But its just that when you say push outwards I think you mean push backwards.”
WSO Staff “OK. So what do I have to say to get you to push outwards instead of saying push outwards?”
Student “Oh I don’t know? Maybe you should just say push ….. (thinking, thinking..)…. Out!”

Student “What are those birds flying over there?”
WSO Staff “They are ducks”
Student “Ducks? Do ducks fly?”

Discussing some relics found on the ground:-
WSO “Anybody know what these shells are from?”
Students give varied and incorrect replies
WSO “We are on a massive midden site. See the shells right along the top of the bank here? Aboriginal people would have sat up here and had a camp fire, cooked up some mussels and enjoyed the spectacular view over the river just like we like to do.”
Student “So these shells have been here for like 2 million years?”
WSO “Maybe a couple of thousand!”
WSO “And look here we have a few items from the early settler days, a fencing wire clip, an old man made fish hook and a hand made nail.”
Student “So aboriginals made nails?”

Sitting atop a lookout on Mt. Buffalo:-
WSO “The view is so good from up here you can even see Mildura”
Student “Where?”
WSO (Pointing to the north west) “Over on the horizon that dark spot next to the light area, that’s Mildura”
Students “That can’t be Mildura”
WSO “Why not?”
Student “Because Mildura is over that way” (Pointing to the south)

During a “Race Across Sunraysia” a group (of 3) was required to get a photo of a person going down a slide at Park For Play.
The teenager reading the instructions “Oh! We have to go to Park for Play to get a photo of somebody going down a slide.!
Same teenager “But how are we gong to do that, there will be no kids there at this time of the day?”
Another group member “Duh!!! One of us can do it!!!

Whilst walking in the Grampians:-
WSO (to secondary aged student) "What do yoi think the name of this plant is?" After a short pause...
WSO "What does it remind you of?"
Student "Is it a prickle bush?"
WSO "Yes, it is prickly, but that's not it's name, it has something to do with Xmas."
Student "Oh, I know, a Xmas prickle bush!"

Copyright - Wild Side Outdoors 2009